10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won’t Tell You

With graduation bearing down on us, it’s really time to start contemplating what the rest of life is going to be like. No more late nights in the library, no more paying for meals with discretionary funds, no more drunken frat party hookups. It seems like all the fun of youth is about to be sucked out of us. I still can’t believe I’m 22 years old. I wonder what 16-year-old Jordan would think of 22-year-old Jordan. He’d probably be impressed with how handsome we turned out. And manly. Mandsome. Let’s go with that. Well I, personally, am taking all the advice I can get on how to approach life after awesome – I mean, college – and so far most people have pretty much told me to close my eyes, cover my balls, and get ready to go through the shit-storm that is your 20s. Wonderful. Well here is a quaint little article from Charles Wheelan at the Wall Street Journal on “10 Things Your Commencement Speaker Won’t Tell You.” I still don’t know who my commencement speaker is going to be (I could easily look it up but I’m way too lazy and I enjoy surprises) but I’m hoping for a Steve Jobs hologram. Feel free to comment with any other words of advice for a soon-to-be college graduate. I will be sure to read it but will most likely ignore it! Time to go drink away my depression.

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